


eventually (everyone finds their way)

by actualmuseofspace



Series: ashes (we all fall down) [2]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: (minor) - Freeform, Blackwatch Era, Blackwatch Jesse McCree, Blackwatch Reaper | Gabriel Reyes, Family Dynamics, Gen, Healing, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Language Barrier, Mental Health Issues, Muteness, Selectively Mute Genji, Young Genji Shimada
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:14:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23655169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/actualmuseofspace/pseuds/actualmuseofspace
Summary: Genji, who does not know how to say, "I cannot forget what my voice sounds like," instead says nothing at all.--His voice, though functional, does not function. He can't say anything - he doesn't know how, he can't make his voice work the way it is supposed to. Genji wishes that he didn't have anything to say.--alternatively, genji's time in blackwatch, wishing he could find his place. can be read without reading "here comes this rising tide."
Relationships: Jesse McCree & Genji Shimada
Series: ashes (we all fall down) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1703101
Kudos: 19





	eventually (everyone finds their way)

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place in the same universe as "here comes this rising tide," so if you've read that, you're more likely to pick up on some of the themes of abuse going on. However, it's a completely independent piece.

"Genji." Jack says, a little too sharp. "You need to talk to someone, eventually."

What Genji doesn't say is that he's tried. He doesn't say that every time he opens his mouth, he can feel everything inside him that's different. That every time he makes the tiniest noise, he knows how it is supposed to sound and he knows it doesn't sound like that. He doesn't say anything.

\--

Jack doesn't let it go. He brings by a girl, too young to really be a friend. "Fareeha," he says to her, "This is Genji." His voice is gentle, lost most of its roughness. "He's a good listener."

Fareeha scrunches her nose up a little. "What am I supposed to do with him?" (Genji almost laughs at this - he catches it at just the last second.)

"Same thing you do with Jesse, 'Reeha."

"I don't think he can fight." (Genji does laugh at this one, so quiet he hopes they don't notice.)

"You just wait," Jack says. "Hang out with him for a moment, your mom will be by soon for dinner."

Fareeha sits in the chair next to him, the one that Jack only uses if he thinks Genji is asleep. "Are you asleep?" she asks. "I won't tell if you aren't."

"No," Genji says, and his own voice surprises him. It is still too metallic, still too sharp, and he wishes he hadn't said anything at all, he wishes he could still preserve the expectation that he is silent, because now she will keep waiting for him to answer.

"Good," she says, confident. "Because I have to tell you about someone."

\--

Jack doesn't let it go. He brings by a boy, Genji's age, technically, but younger and older at the same time. "Jesse," he says to him, "This is Genji." His voice is hoarse, and Genji knows it is not a moment to trifle with him.

Jesse, standing with his hands on the edges of his pockets, like he doesn't know where to put them, says, "Did jefe put you up to this?"

"I'm the goddamn Strike Commander, Jesse, it doesn't matter what Reyes says about it." Jack turns and leaves, sharp. Genji just catches him running a hand through his hair.

"So," Jesse says, situating himself inside the chair. "I reckon Fareeha thinks she's been subtle, running reports back and forth between the two of us. She ain't tell anyone that you been talking to her, so you don't gotta worry about that." He pauses. "You ain't gotta talk to me, either. Jefe's been asking me to talk to you for a while now, and I been thinking that you ain't gonna talk to me just cause I'm the same age as you." He pauses again. "But it wouldn't be so bad if you did."

Genji does not say anything, but he does sit up a little straighter. Then, outside of his control, he feels his mouth open. "Who's he-fe?" he says, trying to make the word sound like Jesse.

"That's Gabe," Jesse says. "He's like Jack's handsome other half. Your jefe too, if Jack gets his way about it."

This answers Genji's question in a way that leaves him with more, but he fights the betrayal of his mouth this time.

"But I ain't here on business."

\--

“Is that Genji?” asks his doctor. Genji doesn’t mean to overhear, but he’s playing cards with Jesse and the man is quiet on his turn, thinking through every action he could take.

“Yeah,” says Jack. “He’s been getting along well with Jesse. I keep trying Gabe to take him on Blackwatch, to keep them together.”

“Well, Gabe will come around. He’s just…”

“He’s just pissy because he doesn’t like me keeping and eye on Jesse.” He lowers his voice, and Genji can’t hear the rest.

“It’ll be alright, Jack. Jesse’s got a good head on his shoulders.”

“That’s not the point, Angela.” Jack sighs, and approaches, knocking on the door. “Jesse, Gabe’ll kill me if you’re late to training again. And Genji, talking or no, you’re cleared for light physical activity, which means we’re getting you some physical therapy.”

\--

Once released from the hospital, Genji finds himself keeping strange hours. He wanders into the range, one night. Athena quietly chimes as he goes in, just on the other side of the door.

“Agent Shimada entering, Agent McCree.”

Genji sees Jesse training, holding a revolver that looks older than he is. Jesse doesn’t put the gun down, right away.

“You ain’t coming in here without ear protection, are you?”

Genji points at his ears. “Perk.”

“Athena, you seeing this?”

“Affirmative, Agent McCree. Agent Shimada is cleared to be in the range without hearing protection.”

Genji wants to say, “I didn’t think anyone would be up, and I just wanted to hold a bow again, to find the weight in my hands, and I don’t know if I can do that while you’re here, and I don’t know if I can do that if there’s something else between me and the world.” But he doesn’t want to say anything, so he just nods.

“So you know,” Jesse says, unprompted. “I ain’t up late for any special reason. Just like the range when there’s less people on it. I figure you’n’I might be bout the same in that regard.”

Genji watches Jesse shoot for a while.

“If you want,” Jesse says, “we can find you a gun. I ain’t know much about bows, but I figure you’re more or less done with’em for now.”

Genji nods again. “That would be nice.”

\--

“Genji!” says Fareeha. “You’re here!”

“For you,” Genji says.

He looks at his piece of cake. Jack finds him.

“You don’t have to eat it,” he says. “It’s going to be too sweet. I’ll save you the effort.”

Genji puts it down. “Fareeha,” he says. “For you?”

She grabs it happily, and Ana only looks at him a little sharply.

“I need,” he says, halting, “I need to leave.”

“Okay,” says Jack. “I can help you.”

\--

He doesn’t know how to say goodbye to Jesse. He can’t say everything he wants, doesn’t know enough words even if he could use them.

“S’alright, Genji. Gabe already told me.” Jesse comes, holding a poorly wrapped gift box. “I figured I’d leave you something so you don’t up and forget me. Don’t open it now.”

\--

He doesn’t know where to go at first. By the time he’s finally found a place, he remembers Jesse’s gift, tucked into his bag. The paper is scuffed and crumpled, and if Jesse weren’t smart enough to put two layers of paper on it, Genji would be able to see what’s inside.

He takes the paper off neatly, preserving what’s left of the scraps.

Jesse has left a note inside the cover.

“I figured once you found your voice, it might help to have some words.”

Tucked inside, under “J,” Genji finds a sticky note. “Jefe. Spanish. Boss.”

Tucked inside, under “H,” Genji finds a sticky note. “Hermano. Spanish. Brother."

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in like...an hour because I felt the driving need to add more to this universe. And then I didn't really do that, so much as tell a tangentially connected story. So as always, if you see any errors, please let me know - there are probably more than usual. I may add a second chapter to this/an entirely new piece because I didn't really tell half of Genji's story, but that's what seems to keep happening to me in this series.


End file.
